July 10, 2003 @ 11:11 p.m.
Assume the position

Night before last, I went to my first ever pilates class. It was fun. The instructor was lovely, very helpful and encouraging to the four of us (out of about 12) that had never done pilates before. I'll definitely be going again.

In between giving instructions, she walked around the room, helping and encouraging.

I had to bite my lip to keep myself from laughing or making an inappropriate comment at one point, though. I was crouched down on my hands and knees, with my arse in the air, and naturally my mind started wandering to the usual reasons I end up in that position. She passed me in one of her travels around the room and beamed down at me, saying "oh, well done! You've got that pose exactly right! And you've never done pilates before, have you?"

I guess I'm just a natural.

On a vaguely more serious note, it was also a good night for me because I got a chance to see how others might perceive my appearance, what with being up the back of the room near the mirrors and all. What do you know, my body isn't actually as hideous as I generally imagine it to be. I know I'm very harsh on myself, but I'm starting to maybe sort of start believing that the people who berate me about my self-perception may actually be right. Whether this will alter my thoughts and actions towards myself remains to be seen; I think it will take more than one hour of going "well what do you fucking know, I'm not quite the Space Porker I thought I was!" to really change anything, but it's a start.

And to top all this self-realisation off, I finally understand why my arse has its own fanclub.

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