January 13, 2003 @ 2:25 p.m.
New job, old job

My New Year's Eve didn't turn out quite as planned. We ended up at someone else's house, which meant there was no porn to be had, although we did play board games. Well, board game. Have you ever played Trivial Pursuit for four and a half hours? My advice would be to avoid doing so at all costs.

So, my night was spent relatively quitely. My father went out raging and getting drunk and probably hitting on potplants. There is something inherently wrong about that.

Leah rang me at ten p.m. to tell me she wouldn't be ringing me at midnight because she planned to be getting laid then. Drunken candidness is the best sort.

The big news in my life at the moment is that I FINALLY HAVE A NEW JOB! I am now a sexy librarian type! Well, desk stuff with a public library service anyway. I started last Monday and have been working full time as well as doing my regular porn shop shifts, hence my quietness here. I'm bloody exhausted but enjoying life immensely; I have three weeks to go at the porn shop before I'm through. I will miss is a bit, and I'm trying right now to think of some things I'll miss. I'm sure there are some. Besides all the free porn, I mean.

It'll be odd not working there because I'm so used to it. The porn shop was my first serious (in a manner of speaking) job, and I've been there for over 18 months. That's right; I started as a sweet, naive little eighteen year old, and now I am a jaded, cynical 20 year old with a really big porn collection.

Another thing is that I realised about two months ago that I'm really good at selling porn. That's a slightly odd statement, so I'll try to clarify. I guess it comes from being fairly comfortable in my surroundings, and also not from being Ms Pushy Salesperson. Which might sound hilarious, but what you have to understand is that the company I am working for wants us to be like that, pushing mountains of stock upon the poor unsuspecting customer who's just come in to buy a stick mag. The company's ideal model for business is McDonalds. I shit you not. "Would you like lube with that?" They want us to constantly peddle and spiel; no customer should be left alone to browse. Which I think is bullshit. For one thing, it's annoying in any retail establishment, but when it's a porn retailer, it just makes people uncomfortable, possibly even belligerant, and probably less likely to buy stuff in the end. Few people who come into a porn shop want anyone but themselves deciding what they should buy. I'm not a believer in sidling up to someone who's looking at the DVDs and saying "Perhaps Sir would like to browse our extensive range of pocket pussies?"

But I'm good at it. Most people are comfortable around me, even if they're a little taken aback at first when they see a young woman behind the counter. I'm generally pretty easy-going (although not easy, to the chagrin of some sleazes), and I have good product knowledge, even if I do say so myself.

I've mentioned before that my main reason for leaving is the way the company's head management treats staff. Add to that the stupid rules they try to enforce (some of which are mentioned above). I was thinking about this all a couple of days ago and came to the conclusion that I'd work in a porn shop, or in the wider adult industry again - it would just have to be for an employer that doesn't treat its workers like shit. Which can occasionally be hard to find.

But I'm so stoked to have finally gotten a job, and one that I really wanted to boot. I've actually been looking for library stuff for a few months without too much success. It's wonderful so far. I'm enjoying interacting with different groups. There's been a lot of mothers come in with absolute swarms of children - four or five has not been uncommon. At the library I issue their books; if it was at the porn store, I'd probably be directing her to our contraceptive range. Eesh. I'm discovering I really like talking to little kids, though, which kind of weirds me out. I'm not meant to like any of that girly crap! I'm not meant to get all mushygushycoochiecoo about babies that aren't my nephew! It's all terribly disconcerting.

The fact that I've gotten a job proves that my method for writing job applications is an effective one. I wrote four application letters, including the one for the job I now have, in one night while absolutely shickered on cointreau and lemonade. I got interviews for two of the other jobs. So perhaps there is merit to my methods. Or perhaps it's just that alcohol greatly increases my ability and inclination to wax wankical about my fabulous work ethic and great rack value as an employee.

I bet it's not something they'll be recommending at those government job training seminars, though.

<<|>>