June 19, 2003 @ 6:57 pm
The Fall of the House of Nudetwister

I bought more CDs today. I know I'll end up regretting it, because I'm really poor at the moment, and will be for a few weeks yet because I forgot to put my timesheets in (who's a stupid girl, then?), so no pay for another two weeks. Oh well, in a week or so's time I shall console myself thusly: I have no food, but I Have Rock! And how...I scoured Second Spin and came up with the Muffs, Sixfthick, My Ruin and the Ping Pong Bitches. The latter part of the afternoon has been spent rocking out in my room, with due cause.

Anyway, I'm actually here to talk about something specific today. Namely, to bring you up to speed with the goings on of my house. See, there's been a few lineup changes in the Voyeur Dorm of late. And I thought now would be a good time to talk about it, as today it's been exactly a year and a half since I moved into this house. How time flies when you're playing drunken games of Trivial Pursuit (the alcohol makes it very entertaining), watching porn and plotting world domination.

So the big change is that my all-female household is now no longer all-female. There is now a thorn among the roses; a peenie among the hoo-has, if you will. Deb's boyfriend Fred, whom I think I've mentioned here once or twice before, has moved in. It's been about a month now. And while there's a few issues cropping up relating to a) living with a male-type person, and b) living with a couple, mostly things are really good. I have the following anecdotes relating to him:

1)A few days ago we were in the kitchen together and I coerced him into performing 'I'm a Little Teapot' for me. I was quite impressed, but also hung shit on him about the hang of his spout, because I'm mean like that. But it cofirms my story that all the best things that go on in our house happen in the kitchen. Well, except for me having sex, I suppose (although if I thought I could get away with it...).

2) A few weeks ago a whole bunch of us went out to celebrate Deb's birthday. As he was the only male in a group of about nine people, we all started pretending he was our pimp. He was very good at it, although he was a bit sad because he'd left all his chunky gold jewellry at home. And since part of the night was spent in a strip club, it was actually pretty effective, too.

So now it's back to five housemates in total. We had four for quite a while, because Annabelle moved out late last year after hallucinogenic mould started growing in her room. You'd think she'd have been okay with that, but it reacted against her asthma medication, and one trip to the emergency room later...that wasn't fun for anyone involved. Unfortunately, no one else seems to have had the mould effect them quite as badly, and now Fred's gotten rid of it, in his rather handy "I do house maintainence-type stuff" way.

I don't really feel that calling the house the Voyeur Dorm anymore is right, since there's a boy here. And Castle Anthrax isn't right anymore either. Although The Crack Den is still as accurate as it ever was (which is more than we lead our collective parents to believe...). I think I need to come up with a new name, because I like to name things. Auntie Rev's Hump Palace? The House That Lust Built? Stop Stealing Stuff From Deirdre's Herb Garden Or So Help Us We'll Kneecap You? (True story, if not actually a good name.) Special Bus Rejects? Shaun Micallef Groupie Headquarters? Satan's Go-Go Girls Now With Added Fred? The Voyeur Dorm That Is Now Probably More Worth Being Voyeuristic Over Than It Used To Be, Despite Rev's Efforts?

It's all so difficult. And choosing a new name for my shambolic and alcohol-enhanced sharehouse is an important task that should not be rushed or taken lightly.

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